the hardest folksongs never written

(2023)

I have been thinking about the end of the "world" since childhood. Since then, I have been thinking about the end of my desires, my dreams, my oddnesses - the end of beauty, the end of the body, the end of sex, the end of truth (or at least the end of the use for truth), the end of love, the end of music, the end of queerness (which is in large part about ending things). All these spaces approach endings – when one ending is reached, there is always another ending beyond it waiting. Endings can be beautiful. And aching.

Alternative scenarios fascinate me. Something that has been very seductive to me is imagining micro-cultures where a community that otherwise has never been allowed to thrive to flourish in the light of promise. I ponder: An eco-pessimist culture that honestly embraces the reality of full eco-collapse, also known as the end of the world. A fully gender-rich, or emptied, range of countless identities. A world where valuing the truth is the most prized of currencies, or the least. An understanding that some of us possess an endless urge to control, to place everything into an order, to spin in place. A time when queerness is not quite normative (then it would be, by definition, not queer), but kind of being there "just because." And I imagine if all these "cultures" had their own folksongs. 

At times, it feels very hard to imagine new realities. These imagined folksongs for these existing micro-cultures have not existed until now. The songs are very easy to sing if you know the words. The words are not easy to remember. The music that goes along with the tunes and the words - well, that is the hardest part of all! 

In short, these are pieces conceived for cultures that I want to have folksongs. The words are mine - the prosody, the tunes, all mine. The songs are theirs, whether they want them or not. In these folksongs, the human voice and the words are rarely heard, and only emerge as if unable to be contained.

This piece is dedicated to the ever kind and deeply conscientious Gusty, and with deep gratitude to the highly collaborative Grossman Ensemble musicians, the marvelous and thoughtful conductor Tim Weiss, to the visionary Dr. and Mrs. Grossman, and the University of Chicago Center for Contemporary Composition and its dedicated partners and donors. Thank you for being so very kind to me (to all of us who’ve been commissioned, in fact) in a field where it is very easy to do things for some but not for many. Your generosity and consideration is gratefully recognized by many of us. And it matters.

The folksongs are:

I - 6/7ths. of the way to the end of the world

II - engendering [a]round [a]n end of gender

III - post-truth/post-love lullaby

IV - puzzling is fitting pieces that do not fit

V - queer chant [shadow sub-song with chorus]